The Private Lives of Google Street View 3 June, 2007Posted by paralleldivergence in Brad & Phil, Earth, funny photos, Google Earth, Internet, Life, Political Correctness, Street View.
I believe Google wants to be ubiquitous. It’s the world’s favorite search engine, cataloging every nook and cranny of the Internet and boasts more than 380 million unique visitors every month. Google’s AdSense and AdWords are “widely recognized as the Web’s most efficient advertising vehicles”. It now owns the world’s most popular video-sharing site, YouTube as well as the already popular Google Video and it’s revolutionized understanding of the planet’s geography through the release of Google Maps and Google Earth. Fortunately for us, Google’s mantra is “Don’t be Evil”.
Now I can forgive past indescretions like “How Google Earth Killed Santa…“, because I for one was already pretty sure that Santa didn’t exist. But I’m somewhat worried about the intentions for Google Street View. I can understand how a Virtual Tourist who can’t afford a trip overseas might enjoy “wandering” down the streets of some of the world’s major cities and looking around at the sights. He or she may even like the authenticity of wandering around and “seeing” the locals going about their daily business. The question is, is the daily business of locals any business of the rest of the world?
Take this guy for example. Here he is, bending down to a bucket to wash his car. Some people might wonder whether he’s not at work because he’s currently on worker’s compensation after suffering a “crippling back injury” which stops him from doing any work. It’s not his fault the car got dirty.
Or what about this car with its license plate clearly visible, driving past the woman’s house that he’s been stalking everyday since he first saw her in the supermarket? Shouldn’t he be able to go about his business without Google and the entire world checking up on him?
This woman may be taking food to the homeless shelter across the street – or – maybe she’s called her work to say she’s sick and instead she’s gone clothes shopping. The way she’s jaywalking across the road, I’d tend to believe the latter might be true.
We’ve all heard about how the Taliban in Afghanistan dress as covered-up women to get into crowded areas and blow themselves up. If it can happen in Kandahar, why couldn’t it happen in San Francisco? You can hide a lot of stuff under a trench coat.
Is this guy a good samaritan or does he have more evil intentions for the unsuspecting woman with car trouble? I remember recently reading a story in the newspaper about a woman’s body found in the boot of an abandoned car in the Bay area.
“Little girl, you don’t have to worry that I have jeans on one leg and shorts and a leg warmer on the other leg. If you come with me, I’ll give you some candy!”
“Candy? OK, Mister!”
Now with this one, I know that it’s a drug deal going down – the only thing I don’t know is which drug is it? Grass? Coke? Heroin? Judging by the facial deformations, I’m guessing it’s probably Ice. If Google had any conscience they would have pulled up the van and got this woman down to Narcanon and into Scientology as quickly as possible.
Finally, this guy is just super-suspicious. Not only is he standing in the exact same position in three separate shots, but I’m guessing that cannister on his back holds a disassembled high-powered rifle. Furthermore, I think he’s spotted us!
A couple of years ago, Google Earth appeared and allowed us to spy into our friends’ and neighbors’ backyards. With Google Street View, now we can spy into their windows and cars. Just like Brad & Phil, maybe we should all be on the lookout for the Google Street View van. What do you think?