Uh oh. I think I have Swine Flu… 30 April, 2009Posted by paralleldivergence in Humor, jokes, Life.
Tags: friday fun, funny, Humor, jokes, swine flu
I had a little nap after work, and when I awoke, I found myself covered in rashers. On the news they showed up the phone number for the Swine Flu information line, so I rang them up to get some advice. Problem was I couldn’t make out a word they were saying. All I heard was crackling.
So these rashers were starting to really bother me, and I decided I’d better go to the chemist to get some oinkment. When the chemist asked me how I got the rashers, I told him, but he said my tale was a curly one and that I was telling porkies. But I persisted and it quickly became obvious that I was starting to boar him, so I left. It was then I realised that the flu hadn’t affected my urges because the policewoman that I passed as I left the shop was a Babe!
On my way home, I swore I could smell truffles, so I investigated a little in a mud hole. Fortunately this flu is not making me sweat. After some digging around I started to feel a little gilt, especially when the Rabbi walked past and totally avoided me. It was clearly time to sacrifice my goal to find the truffles as I didn’t want anyone to think I was being greedy. I mean it’s not fair to hog them all for myself. On the way back home, on the ground I found a pen and had a sudden feeling that I was already at home, when I wasn’t. Well, not really.
Back at home, I thought I’d better research this a bit. Jumped on the internet to find my email inbox full of messages. Unfortunately, it was all spam. Then I found an advice website by Mia Farrow. What an unfortunate name with this nasty virus going around. Anyway, fortunately I discovered the answer to all my problems. An oinkment made from salt, honey and maple syrup coated all over me and left on for a few weeks and I’ll be cured!